i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
