I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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