He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
