There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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