in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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