official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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