I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
