We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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