just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
