I love black thongs
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
