I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize