I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
