maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
