oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
