Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
whose parrot is this?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
