I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
