lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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