His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
