Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
