For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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