he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
