You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
