I want to stick my p in your. b.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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