Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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