it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
