and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
