and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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