Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize