this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize