My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
