clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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