Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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