Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
