I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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