...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
