I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
