omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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