Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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