he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
