remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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