okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
