There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
