You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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