So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
