tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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