Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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