maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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