Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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