Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
