btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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