check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
