Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
