I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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