Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
