Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
