The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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