I can't watch pbs sober anymore
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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