I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
