Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Let's paint friendship bongs
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
