a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
