great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
