Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
