Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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