Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
