My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
