just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he was CRYING into my vagina
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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