So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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