found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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