I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
FUCK WHALES
Randomize