i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
